WE FIGHT DEMONS

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Doctor Aldous Benson
 
Doctor Aldous Benson began his career as a demon fighter at the tender age of 45.

When he is not on safari in the Ock Ock Mountains searching for mystical creatures, Doctor Benson hosts a podcast that will win many awards soon if all of his time-space experiments go according to plan.

It is worth remarking that of his experiments do not.  

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Dolphin Fingers


MGMC employs special agents and orders them to perform and record special demon-fighting music.

MGMC's musical supergroup is called Dolphin Fingers because that is what the artificial intelligence datacenter (AID) said their name was.

Nobody is supposed to ask AID questions, and as a result no one at MGMC knows why. 

Kombucha

To be an effective demon fighter, you must first deal with demons within your self.

 

Drinking kombucha is a time-honored way to tell your demons that you are giving them their eviction notice.

 

When you drink kombucha, you don't just say goodbye to your demons, you encourage them to use their metaphysical nature and do something productive, like wood turning or picking up trash along freeways. 

Do yourself a favor. Drink MassGlobalMegCorp kombucha before your demons start asking you to clean up after them.

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Infinite Paper Towels

MassGlobalMegaCorp refurbishes paper towels by taking lightly used paper towels and washing them using an electricity free process. We consider each package of refurbished paper towels to be a specimen of high art.