MASSGLOBAL

MEGACORP

A SUBIMAGINABLY* LARGE AND DEEPLY CARING CORPORATION.

MGMC is the only U.S. corporation who commits 20% of its resources to fighting evil and its army of social media influencers. Even fighting evil must stick to disciplined budgeting practices.  

WE FIGHT DEMONS.

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MGMC operates an undisclosed number of coastal warehouses in various undisclosed industrial districts along undisclosed coastal areas.

Go ahead. Ask us to provide you with documentation.

WE DO MISCELLANEOUS STUFF WITH WAREHOUSE MANAGEMENT IN COASTAL AREAS.

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WE CREATE PORTALS.

All information related to portal generation is trade secret.
 
Why would we reveal the hidden location of our portal generator in our New Jersey complex of warehouses...

...specifically, the only warehouse with a retractable dome that emits a bunch of loud explosions lasers at 4:44 a.m.?

Why 4:44 a.m.? Why would we tell anyone that this is the best time to call up transdimensional portals?!

Editorial note: This content has been flagged for not going through the normal MGMC corporate approval process.

Our web governance team is currently conducting a security review.

WE THINK ABOUT WAYS TO ESTABLISH THE GLOBAL MATRIARCHY

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AND WE DO OTHER THINGS TOO

MGMC's corporate governance model is very stable and only encourages employees to revolt against the power structure if managers schedule meetings during the lunch hour.

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HEY,
YOU TURKEYS!

Take a brochure

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